Being Human

Monday's clinic visit went without incident. Our appointment wasn't until 2:00p but we've come to realize they will bring us back almost immediately upon our arrival, so we came a bit early with hopes of leaving before 5pm. They draw blood and do vital signs (blood pressure, temperature, weight, height) to which Henry is finally becoming accustomed. The meeting with the Oncologist defined a couple of dates for our next cycle. The MRI has been finally scheduled, but not as early as expected. The MRI will be on Friday, January 11. Additionally, as Henry is doing quite well, they expect to admit us to the hospital again the day after Christmas.

Henry's counts from his blood came back and were fine with the exception of his platelets. He received a transfusion which took about 30 minutes. We had to wait for a little over 2 hours for the platelets to come though. We decided that Henry needed to learn to complain like in a restaurant - "Hey, I ordered platelets over an hour ago, what gives? There'll be no tip for that nurse..." Really though we all handled it with patience, especially Henry.

He began coughing a little upon finishing the transfusion and there was a bit of worry regarding a reaction, but the critical time passed without further symptoms and we were released about 6:15pm.

Yesterday we spent at home. I feel like I spend most of the day in a daze. I still can't figure out if its being tired or what. I feel a little more on top of things today. As I was running yesterday I thought more about hope and fear. I realized that there's no way not to be afraid right now. Then it occurred to me that perhaps I don't really have to choose between hope or fear. Part of being present here and now is being open enough to allow it all to be part of me. Being anxious or calm, afraid or hopeful, angry or peaceful, selfish or caring is all part of being human. So is being open to what today, or tomorrow for that matter, has to offer and accepting it, whether we like it or not.