Waking Up

Tomorrow we awake from the dream which has been a relatively normal holiday season. We head back into the hospital for round 3 of chemotherapy. After this cycle we'll have the MRI of Henry's head and spine to compare with the original done immediately after his tumor resection. When his blood counts are recovered, we'll begin the unknown of high-dose chemotherapy which will last approximately three months.

This last week and a half have been so confusing and disorienting. Things march along normally, but all the while I knew tomorrow would come. The undercurrent of what is happening is sometimes practically undetectable and other times it breaks through the surface and catches me completely off guard.

I just sat with Henry for a while trying to get him to sleep. I tell him I love him and he repeats a theme from a book we mimic:

"You know how much I love you, Dad?"

"How much Henry?"

"All the way to the moon and back."

"Me too Henry."

He's so docile and sweet laying in bed. He had a wonderful day with my parents, playing and shopping. They took him to an auto showroom because he wanted to know where cars came from. He oriented them to the routine we have at Target of getting popcorn while we walk through the store. He played for hours with my father, once telling him that "Grandma calls me precious." He knows he is so loved. I hope that's what's running through his head this evening as he lays in bed trying to sleep.

I left his room telling him that I need to do some jobs downstairs. He said, "That's OK, 'cause Anna and Sophie are up here to keep me company."

Sweet dreams Henry, tomorrow will be here too soon.