Thursday, January 3, 2008

Waking Up

Tomorrow we awake from the dream which has been a relatively normal holiday season. We head back into the hospital for round 3 of chemotherapy. After this cycle we'll have the MRI of Henry's head and spine to compare with the original done immediately after his tumor resection. When his blood counts are recovered, we'll begin the unknown of high-dose chemotherapy which will last approximately three months.

This last week and a half have been so confusing and disorienting. Things march along normally, but all the while I knew tomorrow would come. The undercurrent of what is happening is sometimes practically undetectable and other times it breaks through the surface and catches me completely off guard.

I just sat with Henry for a while trying to get him to sleep. I tell him I love him and he repeats a theme from a book we mimic:

"You know how much I love you, Dad?"

"How much Henry?"

"All the way to the moon and back."

"Me too Henry."

He's so docile and sweet laying in bed. He had a wonderful day with my parents, playing and shopping. They took him to an auto showroom because he wanted to know where cars came from. He oriented them to the routine we have at Target of getting popcorn while we walk through the store. He played for hours with my father, once telling him that "Grandma calls me precious." He knows he is so loved. I hope that's what's running through his head this evening as he lays in bed trying to sleep.

I left his room telling him that I need to do some jobs downstairs. He said, "That's OK, 'cause Anna and Sophie are up here to keep me company."

Sweet dreams Henry, tomorrow will be here too soon.


Anonymous said...

Hang in there Tara and Bryan. I'm always thinking of u all and i pray this round goes as well as the last. Henry, ur such a strong little guy, ur my hero.


Anonymous said...

Mwah!! Nighty-night, Henry... you sweet, sweet boy.

We care so much about you guys & are sending love your way!!!

It is so evident that Henry knows how much he is loved -- what a lucky guy he is!

xo The Hartleys

Granya said...


Thank you for sharing, as always, in such a sensitive way.

It does feel confusing to see him playing and interacting so normally, knowing that he still has this uphill fight to fight.

It was a blessed holiday season.

Love, Granya

Anonymous said...

I am sending huge hugs of encouragement and love to you all as you begin the next step of your journey together. You are never far from my thoughts. Henry is playing hide n' seek and running through my memory in silent meditations of love every day. Bless you all on your journey to the moon and back. Safe landings. We'll all be waiting. MAB

Anonymous said...

Glad your holiday season allowed you to be surrounded by family and friends. I am sorry that today came so soon.

Anonymous said...

May God comfort you all and keep Henry in his hands always. We love you guys.

Cousin Susan H.