Learning from the Past

Last week we came in to the outpatient clinic at Hopkins for an afternoon appointment. After only about 90 minutes they let us go home asking that we come back the next day for blood that wouldn't be ready for infusion until then. After our visit to the hospital the other day we had a little additional inside information regarding Henry's blood counts and came at 10am for his 2pm appointment today with hopes of getting his blood prepared and ready for transfusion by early afternoon with the ultimate idea of being home at a reasonable hour and not having to return tomorrow. So far so good, its 12:45pm and I expect the blood will be ready within the next hour or so. It makes for a long day, but better than returning two days running.

It must have been 3 year-old boy morning as there had to have been 4 little boys the same age in at the same time, including one who was only 1 day difference in age than Henry. It made the morning time go fast along with the fact that the Child Life person (assigned to keep the children distracted and entertained) did some neat crafts with them which will now adorn our refrigerator and desks at home.

I find myself a bit disoriented as we've not been admitted for a fever this cycle - a bit of a loss at what to expect next too because our chemotherapy will change and we don't yet have an idea of when it will start. It seems I've conditioned myself to be ready to change course at a moments notice and while the immediate future seems fairly steady and certain, we've come to adjust our expectations to accommodate this reality. Its kind of like holding on tight to a fast moving train. I could make the effort to pull myself into the seat, but then we may change direction and I can get thrown off - safer just to hold on tight and be ready for anything.