Friday, March 13, 2009


The days immediately following Henry's death were mostly a blur. We busied ourselves with plans and preparation. While we could have found someone to do this for us, we felt it important to give ourselves over to creating something for Henry - something particular, something special, something uniquely him. This kept us occupied, physically, emotionally and psychologically. It was healthy for us.

We noticed a tangible release and exhalation after Henry left. Cancer was gone from our family once again. We were sad that it took Henry, but relieved to be free of the disease that affected us all so thoroughly. These feelings have been difficult to reconcile - the lightness that comes with completing our journey with cancer and the sadness that accompanies the departure of our son and brother. Fortunately for our grieving, we can now rest secure in the knowledge we did everything possible. There are no regrets, there are no what-ifs, there is no anger. We're sad, we're scarred, but we still can love.

The day prior and that of the service were filled with emotion. Our family and friends came in droves and provided such complete comfort for us, our girls and our families. We were especially blessed with a new Scheck born to my brother's family on the same day as Henry's passing and we were honored to have her with us - so new and special. Her presence, innocence and purity reminds us that life continues. And it's beautiful.

As family and friends departed the fullness of our loss began to settle on us. We try to accept grief's presence and function, just as we grew to accept Henry's cancer. Sometimes it freezes us, sometimes it seems like it will never leave and sometimes its' absence is disturbing. Sometimes it comes without warning and sometimes it slowly creeps up on us and overtakes us. At times it is impossible to look at pictures of him. Other times I look and smile and am content. During it all we try to remember that each day will be different and that these are episodes that will come and go like waves.


Anonymous said...

our job now, as a community, is to continue to buoy you and your family up with our daily prayers and positive thoughts and interactions. i can't tell you how encouraging it is to many of us the lessons in unconditional love, acceptance, support and outlook you and your family have provided. you teach us every day how to love our children, our lives, and our circumstances and make the absolute loving best of what we're given without being angry or spiteful at the bad hands we may be dealt. thank you again and again and again.

Anonymous said...

You are on our minds constantly...cannot imagine how difficult these waves must be. How unpredictable... strong...overwhelming. Just know that you are SO LOVED & SO many people are here for you however we can be.

Love you much.

xo The Hartley Hooligans

krissyheflinjames said...

Dear Dr. Tara Scheck and family,

I am ashamed of myself for not being able to make the service for little Henry. Myself, Michael, Annabella, and Lewis were planning to attend. I want you to know that we have been praying and thinking of your family daily. Henry is now an angel in heaven. And even though I have never met him, I feel much love in my heart for him. Dr. Scheck has been my daughter's physician as well as myself. She has been a god sent gift to our family. She has helped me in my darkest days and for this I send many thanks. Henry's story reminded me to always be thankful and never take for granted the life we are given. My daughter is Henry's age, and I cannot fathom the grief if we lost her. I cannot always understand God's planning, but I put my faith in knowing that he is Lord of all things big and small. Why such things, such as Henry's death, happens sometimes does not make sense. But, why question when we do not know the answers. Just know and believe in your heart that he is always with you and will never leave you. He will comfort you and give you the strength to continue living. And oneday we will all meet again, not just for a lifetime, but for eternity.

Anonymous said...

Bryan, Tara, Anna, Sophie,

What an amazing example you all set at Henry's service/celebration.

It was a most wonderful way to celebrate his life, however short, and give those in attendance a glimpse into the beautiful little man who left us too early. I appreciate the opportunity to love my own son even more, and appreciate my blessings in life.

I realize that you suffered a tremendous loss, while at the same time so many around you gained so much through your strength, example, love, sharing, caring, and incredible parenting.

I don't think it would be possible for anyone to witness your situation, strength, and example without growing inside to become a better person.

Thank you again, for sharing your experience so transparently with all of us.

Dirk, Shannon, & Logan

Anonymous said...

Your ability to be speak so honestly and sincerely never fails to amaze me. First, I would like to say that, from the pictures, it appears that you did not miss a single thing during your tribute to Henry. I loved seeing his 'truckie' in the pictures and it showed that you thought of everything that was important to Henry and your family, and it was there to be a part of his day. I wish we could heal you and your family, but unfortunately, the grief is also part of the journey that you were placed upon. We are always here, always praying for you, an entire community of strangers who feel like a part of your family and who want you to know that we care about you.

Anonymous said...

I never met Henry personally,though I feel like I got to know him through your blog. I, too, find myself thinking about him--and your family often--at The Little Gym, when I drive through Chik-Fil-A, just random times. I believe--I hope--that riding the waves of your journey has made me a better person and mother.