I've never been one to make long term friends. This may come as a shock to those who know me only through this blog, but I'm a pretty poor communicator. Henry's illness and the love, support and dedication of family, friends and strangers have brought me to a new understanding of what friendship means.
Being in the position of loss that we've experienced puts those in our circle of support in the awkward position of wanting to be supportive, but not always knowing what to say - I myself face this dilemma in my head. Suddenly I'll have a vivid image of him in my mind, I try to pause and acknowledge it, remember him, but then I've got to force myself to move on. It's debilitating and comforting at the same time. That's just the way it is. And its OK.
But the act of opening the door of conversation and letting us talk about our Henry, how our family is doing now and just telling, and in some cases, retelling our story is so helpful to us. Several friends' homes I've visited recently have Henry's picture still displayed. I don't expect them to keep it there forever, but the presence of his image stands as such a symbol of solidarity and remembrance.
So today I'm thankful for everyone who has in any way, offered their support to us. I find great comfort in my circle of friends. Whether we talk often or not you remain in my memory as part of my constitution and when I find the road a little rocky, I lean on you for support whether you know it or now. I feel a continually deepening kindred spirit with all my male friends. The bond we share as men and fathers is one I'm coming to value more and more as a quiet understanding of who we are and our role in our families and on this special day I wanted to be sure you all knew that.
Happy Father's Day.
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14 comments:
Happy Father's Day, Bryan! May you find peace and comfort in celebrating what a great father you are today and remembering Henry. So many kids aren't as fortunate to have a father who is so involved in their lives as you are with your children. Enjoy your day!
Love, Julie, Brad, Patrick, Andrew and Samantha
Happy Father's Day Bryan!
Nancy in NC
Henry's pictures still hang on our fridge. Zeb keeps one in his room too. We look at them daily and sometimes they bring tears and sometimes a smile. Either way, I don't plan on taking them down anytime soon :-) Happy Father's Day Bryan.
Shanda
Happy Father's Day, Bryan!
Lori, Fred and Jack
Happy Father's Day Bryan--we love you and think of you so often. Henry, Anna, and Sophie have all been blessed with an amazing father-you shine so brightly as an example of all that a father can be. I keep a picture of Henry on my desk at work and it is a constant reminder to me of Henry's courage, strength, sweetness, and humor. I will always feel so lucky to have known him, and I will always miss him dearly.
Tamara
From one who only knows you from your blog, you are a symbol of what fatherhood is supposed to be - compassionate, caring, strong, supportive, fragile, and "there" - Henry was lucky to have you for a father.
Happy Father's Day, Bryan!
Happy Father's Day Bryan! Thanks again for sharing your story with everyone. You and your family are still an inspiration to us. Even though Henry has went to a beautiful place, I still think of him riding in his little truck, everytime I pass a Chik-fil-A and everytime I wear his white bracelet. May God bless you with comfort and knowing that we all care.
Terra Strait & family
Happy Fathers Day to you too Bryan. Feel free to call anytime. We'll be passing through Hagerstown on our way to Baltimore Tuesday. Kaden gets his nuclear inj. and then his mIBG scan on Wed. You're always on our minds and in our thoughts and prayers.
Take care,
Marty, Stephanie, Payton & Kaden Sharpless
Happy Father's Bryan! I still have my white bracelet on and don't plan on taking it off until it falls off. I like remembering little H. When I feel overwhelmed or down, I look at my bracelet and think of him/you/tara and how brave you all were. Henry puts my life in perspective. He will stay on my refrigerator until his picture falls off and or disappears. However, I will always remember him in my heart.
A happy belated father's day Bryan, You are an amazing dad. So glad that our paths have crossed.
nance
Happy Father's Day...I am sure it was a difficult one for you, but I hope you were able to take strength in the knowledge that you are a wonderful, compassionate dad who brings great joy to his family.
Kara
Dear Bryan,
Happy belated Father's Day!! I just told Craig last night that I bet it was a Father's day with mixed emotions. I still wear my white bracelet every day. We also have Henry's picture in our living room and Carinna has one in her bedroom. I wanted you to know that you're the kind of father that every child wishes for. You even extend you kindness outside of your immediate family. I don't know if you remember this but you were Carinna's very first soccer coach. You took her under your wing and still do, to help her be her best. I know she and I both really appreciate it. If you every need any of us we are always here for you and your family.
Love,
Gina,Craig,Carinna,and Corey
Father's Day has now come and gone, its a day to embrace and remember. And I know that all of your children have been blessed to have you for a father. I hope that someday the girls are able ot express that to you, as I believe Henry will when you see him again.
I hope the rest of the summer brings you special new family memories to look back upon on Father's Days yet to come...
...
Catching up with your blog for the first time/long time. A belated 'happy father's day'.
From one father to another ...this is a wonderful post. It is definitely true that becoming ...being a father changes everything. It changes how you relate to the other men in your life.
Do know that you communicate very clearly and very powerfully here. With a message of value to every father.
Until next time...
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